all the things i've been dying to hear

i always remember when you whisper in my ear and speak softly,
i love your chuckles, your laugh..
and it's all the things i've been dying to hear...

One Thing You Shud Remember

One thing that u shud remember..


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it such a great story..

it's a great story.

at 6, we were the two new kids. we bonded over the people we didn't know and the friends we didn't have in common.

at 9, girls were stupid and so were boys. so when the double digits came and we went our separate ways, it wasn't really a big deal that we had never held hands or shared a somewhat innocent kiss.

at 11 and 12 and all through the teens i heard from you every other year. we never wrote, nor spoke, nor talked to each other. what i knew came from the unexpected encounters of our parents.

except… at 14 i saw you. and you were my first kiss. well, the first one that swept me off my feet. that first uninnocent kiss. i woke up with my head still swirling, still feeling your lips on mine, your arms wrapped around me, though i knew i had never truly felt them. it still is, to this day, one of the most vivid dreams i've ever had.

at 17, the first reunion. you saw me, i don't remember you. details of that dinner are oddly clear in my memory. yet you were invisible to me, not a trace of you that night on my brain.

at 22, a party at the old school. i see no one. maybe i didn't recognize them. then, a familiar face in the crowd - your brother. later, a hand on my shoulder follows the exclamation of my name - your mother, and your father right behind. but you're already gone.

at 23, the wonders of technology. and we meet again, so many years later, with the full moon shinning on a warm late spring night. hours talking, singing to the music or lack thereof, a lifetime of promises in a kiss (or a thousand kisses) between whispers of "where have you been?".
as we found ourselves in each other's arms in the many nights we shared, we learned to trust one another. through summer, fall and secrets never before told we became best friends. by the time there were no more leaves on the branches we had acknowledged that, at this point in time, we were not able to give each other all we deserved.

at 24, it's a great story. it still really is. that first night still "is the stuff movies are made of". the kiss you insisted on planting on my cheek, the trip we planned but never took, the fact that you made a point of me knowing your friends, that night i held your hand while you fought back the tears, all those times you wished i had been your first love, it all just makes letting go of the fairy tale ending to this story all the more difficult.
so maybe the timing will never be right for us and your kids won't be my kids. maybe we won't fall in love or live in a foreign city together. but i'll have you know this: i love you unconditionally, like only a friend can, and i'm here for the long haul.

at 25 or 85, hopefully, you will still be my best friend.

Dukung Aksi Rp.10000


  • 160.000 anak didunia didiagnosis menderita kanker setiap tahunnya.*
  • 80% anak-anak yang didagnosis kanker tersebut berada di negara-negara dengan sumber daya terbatas, dimana akses terhadap informasi, kemungkinan deteksi dini serta pengobatan dan perawatan yang efektif tidak memungkinkan.*
  • Kanker tidak menular. Kesembuhan atau remisi jangka panjang dapat tercapai bila dilakukan perawatan dan pengobatan yang memadai.
  • Terjadi peningkatan jumlah anak-anak penderita kanker yang dirawat di rumah sakit-rumah sakit besar di Jakarta.
  • Saat ini hanya 5 rumah sakit besar (RSCM, RS Fatmawati, RSAB Harapan Kita, RS Kanker Dharmais, RSPAD Gatot Soebroto) yang memiliki fasilitas perawatan bagi anak-anak penderita kanker.
  • Lama perawatan bervariasi dari 5 bulan sampai 2 tahun.
  • Biaya yang signifikan dikeluarkan untuk akomodasi, transportasi dan biaya hidup selama masa pengobatan anak-anak tersebut.
* International Union Against Cancer 

Bagaimana Anda Dapat Membantu?

    Dengan membeli kupon donasi @ Rp 10.000 dari YKAKI atau mengirimkan bantuan Anda lansung melalui rekening bank YKAKI. Mohon menuliskan "Aksi Rp 10.000" pada bagian keterangan.
    Cash Donation. Kami menerima donasi tunai dari perusahaan/institusi. Donasi dapat dikirimkan melalui rekening bank YKAKI, dan setelah pengiriman diharapkan menginformasikannya kepada bendahara YKAKI.

    Employee Voluntary Program (EVP). Anda dapat melibatkan seluruh anggota organisasi Anda untuk membantu kami. Cara ini tentu akan memperkuat ikatan antara karyawan dengan perusahaan. EVP dapat berupa donasi langsung karyawan atau karyawan dapat mengembangkan kreativitasnya untuk menciptakan aksi pengumpulan dana di lingkungan mereka masing-masing.

    Invite Your Customer. Jika perusahaan Anda memiliki toko/outlet, pilihan lainnya adalah dengan mengajak pelanggan Anda untuk memberikan donasi mereka dengan berbagai macam cara - menjual kupon, menambahkan donasi pada tagihan, menempatkan kotak donasi di dekat kasir, dll. -. Perusahaan Anda juga dapat menciptakan cara lain untuk melibatkan pelanggan Anda untuk memberikan donasi (mohon diskusikan dengan YKAKI mengenai cara yang akan Anda gunakan, sebelum diterapkan).

Hubungi Kami

Untuk mendukung program AKSI Rp. 10.000,- silakan hubungi:
Yayasan Kasih Anak Kanker Indonesia (YKAKI) - Indonesian Care for Cancer Kids Foundation
Jl. Percetakan Negara IX No.10A
el. Rawasari, Jakarta Pusat 10570
Telp. 62 21 4287 2554,  62 21 4287 2556Fax.  62 21 421 6089


Move on

Everybody's telling me to just move on and forget about you. That's like a stab in the flesh, through and through. They don't understand how hard it is for me. That moving on are not just words but actions needing a lot of energy to expend on.
There's one thing I know for sure though. I'm still finding that one person who wouldn't leave my life just when I need her the most.

You Will Never be Alone

You will never be alone, okay?
there are will be
someone.. somewhere cares about you.
and wants you to be alright.

even it is not your mom, dad, sister, girlfriend, boyfriend and else.

remember that you are loved
even if it's only the random person you met on the internet.

you are loved...
Don't forget that.


Keep Struggle

I promises you as long as you say,
"I'm trying"
and i will put that things on to were we belong. 
and before you say that, i should hold my head up and say,

There Will Come a Time..

I guess the only thing I can do now is to think that perhaps, in a future, in a couple of years, if we were really meant for each other, somehow life will drive us together again.

But now, what do I do now?
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